Sunday, April 14, 2013


Best excuses for not practicing:

1. Fell asleep at 4:30 in the afternoon
2. Watched a Gilligan's Island Marathon, followed by a Three's Company Marathon
3. Had to make sourdough bread
4.  Couldn't find my instrument
5.  Left my instrument in my other pants
6.  My dog ate my instrument
7.  Sold my instrument for crack
8. Had uncontrollable diarrhea
9.  Had uncontrollable diarrhea AGAIN
10. Couldn't find my fingering chart
11. Teacher didn't tell me I have to practice more than once a year!
12. Thought that too much practicing would make me go blind, but I think that's something else…..
13. Got married and had children
14. Have neighbors who hate music. They also hate me.
15. Left my instrument at a vegan strip club
16. Wanted to take it easy after the New York Marathon. I watched the whole thing on TV!
17. Had to go to the Portland Farmer's Market, since there's no other place in Portland to buy fruit
18. Couldn't sit still after 7 Starbucks Grande Lattes!
19. Had uncontrollable diarrhea after 8 Starbucks Grande Lattes!
20.Thought Practice Makes Perfect, and yet, Nobody's Perfect, so that contradiction really threw me off for a while…
21. Don't need to practice because somebody told me to "work it out on the bandstand"
22. Don't need to practice because I don't want to "play licks"
23. Don't need to practice because I want to be "in the moment"
24. Don't want to have "too much technique" and be a show-off, like that guy, what's his name, who's so busy working because he "shows off" by being able to read and knowing tunes and sounding great. What a darn show-off!
25. Had to put cover sheets on the TPS reports

26. Watched a Star Trek Marathon, followed by a Charles in Charge Marathon
27. Had to read " Atlas Shrugged" for a second time. Ha Ha, Now I get all the jokes!
28. Too busy blogging
29. Very busy reading blogs about how to practice
30. Sold instrument for heroin
31. Sold instrument for a Starbucks Card
32. Sold instrument to pay for music school
33. Sold Starbucks gift card to pay for music school
34. Got arrested for selling heroin to pay for music school

35. I figure I know about 17 tunes, so I should be cool
36. Camped out all night for Justin Beiber tickets
37. Too busy watching Ken Burns "Jazz" documentary
38. Got married and had children….AGAIN
39. Left my instrument at a vegan Satanic Church
40. Why practice when it's so sunny, rainy, snowy, dark, cold, or warm outside?

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