|My servants who lift my piano for me|
And then, this man decided to test out his Frankenstein Monster of Intonation by sitting down happily and playing a song. This song probably would have sounded like conventional western music if played on a "tuned" piano. Instead, it sounded like a John Cage Sonata for Prepared Piano. Or should I say Unintentionally Prepared Piano? Anyway, triads sounded like complex polychords. Octaves sounded like flat 9ths or major 7ths. This guy on the piano was like the 4th Shagg.(As in the group of questionable intonation The Shaggs. That's a very inside joke; if you need me to explain it, I will....)
I had to intervene, although I really didn't know what to say. And the piano was so out of tune, it was beyond hope. I approached the man, and tried to summon some Italian. "Scusi, signore", I sputtered. "Piano.......e........desafinado......" (Desafinado is Spanish or Portugese for "out of tune." Spanish and Italian are quite similar, so I thought maybe he might understand.)
The man was a bit startled. He didn't even realize anyone was there. He seemed immediately apologetic. "Oh, scusi! I sorry, sorry, sorry.........Please, I sorry......." And then, it all made sense.....
(Wait for it....)